Since my participation in the studies, I have developed seizures – both partial and complex type. A locked-down mental state ensued directly after completing the drug trials, and when I finally had the wherewithal to reach out, I received no assistance. That locked-down state evolved […]
After a couple weeks of those panic-like auras, I had another grand mal seizure at around 4:30 this morning. Only the second one in my life. Chewed up my tongue pretty good, wet the bed, and have a headache. I feel just exhausted. My husband […]
Sometimes I wonder if NYU had any idea of how often the safety of their human research subjects was being placed at risk – but how could they not know? The FDA dinged them on multiple violations for the Pfizer drug trial (Protocol #B0541013), however that […]
Dear NYU, I am angry. I trusted the ethics and reputation of your institution implicitly, and in return I was misled, I was used, and my safety was disregarded by your researchers. And the more I think about some of the things that happened during […]
I have been debating on whether or not to share my current meltdown status here on my Facebook blog because I try to keep it as positive as possible, and don’t want to disappoint anyone by coming across as weak. So on the advice of […]
Well…that didn’t go quite as expected. It’s been a while since I’ve posted, but there have been some changes in the studies that I’ve kept quiet about for quite some time. I wasn’t really ready to share my disappointment. I left with the hope of […]
Welcome! This is an essay on the human research subject experience. I have PTSD due to childhood abuse, and after undergoing years of treatment decided I wanted to learn more about my condition, contribute to the cause of finding effective treatments and hopefully find a […]
I have Complex-PTSD due to childhood abuse: a form of PTSD that is non-combat related. I know…it’s weird. Because PTSD is so poorly understood, I decided to participate in clinical research. After putting my own treatments on hold to be a part of one brain […]
My brain is finally starting to really loosen up from 13 days of hell. At one point I thought I was actually going to have a flashback, but fortunately that never happened…I’m so thankful that it didn’t. I wrote this on Thursday in an attempt […]
I have a practice on here of being pretty honest about how I’m feeling. Right now I’m in the middle of a big fat FUBAR event. I am certainly dissociating, and have been for several days now. At first I thought it was just going […]
