I’ve been going ’round and ’round in circles in my head over the past few days…and getting nowhere.
The results from the brain scans are still sinking in, and have me wondering if it means that I’m going to feel like this forever…
I’ve been invited to participate in two drug studies this fall, which should have me excited – and it does in a way – but other ways it has me scared.
Again, no meds at all prior to the trial, so I’ll be going through the insomnia/nightmare dance all over again with no option for relief.
And that’s just one of the MANY chaotic things that are banging around in my head right now. I hate posting this kind of shit because I know a lot of you come here to be lifted up…and I want to do that, but right now I feel pain all over.
My heart hurts, I’m afraid, and I am trying my best to get back up on my feet but I’m having a really hard time doing it. I’m trying to be strong but I’m feeling overwhelmed and lost.
My heart *aches* and for some reason I won’t let anyone get close enough to comfort me. Looking for the strength to let go of it all and find some peace.