10 days until I’m admitted into the hospital for neurosurgery and a bit of a lengthy stay.
I have seizures that are unable to be controlled by medications, so soon I will be having a surgical procedure that will remove the part of my brain that causes them – but first, they have to locate where exactly that is.
So on November 6th I will have electrode grids implanted onto the surface of my brain, be taken off of all of my anti-seizure medication, and be monitored for up to 30 days in the hospital in an attempt to localize my seizures. Once they have enough data, I’ll go back into surgery to have the hardware removed and go home.
I’ve been doing my best to prepare myself for what’s about to happen, going to the gym to condition my body, etc. But I am not going to lie – I am one hot mess.
This is such a huge step forward in my treatment! Anybody have an answer as to how somebody can be so excited and terrified at the same time?
It’s not just the physical pain of the surgery or fear of complications, but the idea of being on camera 24/7 all that time during the monitoring.
With PTSD, it can be SO difficult to allow yourself to let go and completely trust so many people with your body. Anxiety has been booming.
Ahh yes, and the hospital that I’m having the surgery at is 2 hours away from home. There will be times my rock, my husband, will not be able to be by my side. So there’s that.
Onward and upward. Everything is going to be good.
10 days, my friends. Thank you for letting me share. 🙂