I am a wife, mother, writer, creator of things and solver of problems, curious to a fault. I love to do things that are new and interesting, such as learning to build a dining table from scratch, building props for a Halloween haunt, or learning everything I can about the brain only to forget it, then learn it all again. I have a bit of a science addiction. No amount of consumption is enough.
Most of my adult life has been spent learning and doing things with my husband and two daughters, living life.
There was a time, once upon a time, long, long ago, I was a pediatric nurse.
I have PTSD due to childhood abuse and neglect. With therapeutic treatments such as CBT talk therapy, EMDR, and meditation, I began to recover.
I also have fought Intractable Epilepsy. But thanks to a right temporal lobectomy, I have been cured of my seizures, and I have been freed to pursue my best life once again!
For 7 long years I battled to get back on my feet, and it is with great pride and happiness I can say that I am stronger than I have ever been!
I feel absolutely wonderful. Living a mindful life, taking care of my body through diet and exercise, and my mind through mindfulness and meditation allows me to FEEL JOY. Self care is no longer a chore; it is something I wholly embrace.
As I progressed with my treatments for PTSD, I started a Facebook page called A Little Bent, where I would share thoughts and connect with others – it became a source of strength for me and incredibly enough, inspiration for others. Today it has grown to over 47,000 followers, and it warms my heart to see the names I recognize who regularly comment.
Because PTSD in childhood abuse is so poorly understood, in 2014 I made the decision to participate in clinical research, thinking I could really make a difference. After putting my own treatments on hold to be a part of one brain imaging study and two clinical drug trials, I then recommitted to getting on my own path to recovery.
I blogged about those experiences as I went through them – this website has an archive of a play by play on what it’s like to be a PTSD human research subject.
Hours after the final clinical study, then unbeknownst to me, I had my first seizure, thus beginning my next great odyssey – one that has lasted for the past four years. Clusters of seizures, every 2-3 weeks, with seizures every 2 hours for five or more days at a time.
At first, I assumed I was having severe anxiety attacks – until one escalated into a full-blown tonic-clonic (gran-mal) seizure, sending me to the hospital and into a lengthy process of medical testing and treatment that culminated in neurosurgery after numerous anti-epileptic medications failed to control my seizures.
Again dedicated to overcoming this new challenge, in March 2019, I had a right temporal lobectomy and amygdalohippocampectomy, rendering me seizure-free. It is truly incredible…seizure-freedom for the first time in years, and I feel wonderful, strong, and ready to live life again!
I am moving forward, even stronger than before, with a joy in my heart that I have never known!
THERE IS HOPE.
I am living proof that PTSD doesn’t have to mean that your life is over. Epilepsy can be overcome. Whatever challenge is thrown your way, you have it within you to face it, to live your life, to persist.
Live life. Persevere. Keep moving forward. You DESERVE to live a life worth living. You deserve a life filled with joy. And you can have it. It is within you, even if you can’t feel it right now.
Life doesn’t have to be perfect to be magnificent.
Don’t give up. You’re here for a reason. Take what you need, and leave the rest. <3
I am not broken – but a little bent. And that’s ok. There are a lot of us like that. We are numerous, we are STRONG. And we are stronger together.
We can overcome these challenges – and more. Whatever challenges we may face, we can choose to live brilliant lives, full of hope and promise, carved out of disaster and darkness. We are strong, formidable, and deserving. We are survivors, not victims.
You and me. Not broken – but a little bent. Beautiful disasters. Strength incarnate, living life one day, one moment at a time, loving and celebrating each other and our incredible selves and accomplishments. Knocked down, but back up. Each time, every time.
“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.”
– Maya Angelou
I am here to thrive…and thrive I shall. So will you. I am so happy you are here, and wish to you a life full of passion, compassion, humor, and style.