2014 has been a challenging year – and that’s putting it mildly.
Due to my continued participation in PTSD Research, I am now once again officially “Off my meds” for the fourth time. It isn’t easy. Having been treated for years with these drugs to help with depression and anxiety, it’s like being a yo-yo. I can’t do this much more.
While I understand why this research requires a pharmaceutical-free brain, as I sit here in a constant state of anxiety with nightmares starting to return, at times it is a struggle to keep the faith.
I do this because I want to live. Because it is necessary. Because the meds that I’m currently on provide only short-term mild relief, but no real help. Because out of the millions of people who suffer from PTSD, out of the thousands who have been screened for possible participation in these studies, out of the hundreds of potential subjects, I am one of only a few who meet the criteria.
I do this because even though it’s hard, I am one of a few who can contribute. So go ahead – take me off my meds, take a peek inside my head and do your very best to figure out a way to make life a little easier for others like me, dear researchers.
I do this because I have faith. I have faith in science. I have faith in the research. But most importantly, I have faith in myself.
Two weeks and counting.