My brain is finally starting to really loosen up from 13 days of hell. At one point I felt so terrible I thought I was must be going to have a panic attack, but that never happened. It just felt like something was building, or tingling, or… something. It’s so difficult to describe.
I wrote this on Thursday in an attempt to document what I was feeling. It was not easy, and it ended up taking several hours to write.
I’m now feeling better, but I am exhausted. I’m getting back up on my feet. Now I just need to dust myself off and get moving again.
When it first started on February 10th, it became difficult to really communicate.
I felt irritable, annoyed…pissy. I didn’t act out on it, it’s just how I felt.
Ears ringing, irritable, hands and feet are ice cold (and I’m finding it difficult to keep warm in general), hard to swallow and no appetite. My entire body has been tense, my muscles ache, I have a mild headache, and I keep clenching my jaw.
Scattered, disorganized, and I have difficulty focusing on anything, even briefly. For example – I’ll try to read something. I think I’m reading it, but then suddenly I realize I haven’t actually read anything but maybe the first two sentences. It is very frustrating.
On Sunday I discovered issues with tachycardia. I don’t feel my heart pounding or anything – I discovered it after taking my blood pressure because I felt a little woozy. Resting heart rates were in the 120s, standing in the 160s. As of now it has gone down to a resting rate in the 90s.
I’m having trouble communicating…but it’s not that I don’t WANT to.
I’m tired and wired at the same time, and I feel like a crazy person. UGH, what IS this.